My recent curiosity with Neuro Linguistic Programming has led me to another book on the subject, this one focusing primarily on confidence.
What’s the difference between confident people and shy people? Usually the difference between optimism and pessimism. Both groups of people are pretty attached to what they think is a certain outcome. The confident people are attached and expecting a great outcome, the shy people are expecting a terrible outcome. Why? Probably because through the course of their 15-20 years on this planet, they had few bumps and bruises. They may have been picked on in school, or had a bad breakup with a former lover. They may have had strangely abusive relationships with friends, even family, and picked up on certain rules. They carry those rules with them wherever they go, even if those rules haven’t proven themselves to be effective at all.
The cool thing about NLP is that, once you realize that your own personal history is just a mental routine that you go through (eg. you see a pretty girl, imagine her laughing at you, and you give up the thought of talking to her–the girl triggers the routine), you can just… give yourself a new history. It’s true. You can actually reprogram yourself. This book is full of bizarre techniques to do just that.
Think of your lame personal history like a bad TV show. The story’s no good, the jokes aren’t funny, the acting is awful, the ending is disappointing. Now, what if I told you, every time you walk into a board meeting, your brain replays that terrible show, with high volume, bright colors, on a 95 foot display. And people wonder why you’re afraid to speak up.
Fix this, and everything else is easy. Fix the crazy internal beliefs you have, the way you see the world, and shyness/confidence simply evaporates.
The bad TV show has been playing for years because you never got up and changed the channel (probably because we’ve been told since we were born that we couldn’t change the way we were). What if, instead of feeling intimidated in the boardroom, you felt empowered? In your own mind, you can take that show, turn the volume way down, and make it a teeny tiny screen. Then you can take something motivational, like a Rocky Balboa montage, and blast it at full volume, in bright, High-Def Color, throughout your mind’s eye. That’s the difference between super confident, and super shy people.
We just watch different stuff on TV.