Category Archives: Friendship

“What Got You Here Won’t Get You There” by Marshall Goldsmith

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Author @coachgoldsmith

Marshall Goldsmith has been an Executive coach for over 20 years, so when he starts talking about what CEO’s need to hear, we already have a few assumptions: eg. ‘Executives have business smarts but no people smarts–they don’t teach those at Harvard’. But this book really offers value in the way it turns the finger not at CEO’s but at the reader, and says “Look at all the ways you’re being annoying, or putting people off–did you know you were doing that?”

There’s a list of ‘annoying habits’ in the book like “Speaking when angry” and “Failing to Give proper recognition”, I did a quick test and ticked any that applied to me: I noticed 12 of the 20. Yes that’s a failing grade, like getting 40% on a mid-term, and realizing you have to rock the final exam if you’re ever going to pass the course.

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“Love is the Killer App” by Tim Sanders

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Author @sanderssays

I want to go back to the first book that sparked me to get into business. It was early 2000′s, and I was working like a dog. At a factory. While I figured out what I was going to do with my life. Everyday after work, I’d get home and eat in front of the TV. Usually around 3 or 4 in the afternoon, there would be some ‘Biography’ or ‘Inside the Actor’s Studio’ on, and I was always really into those, hearing about brilliant people, and their humble beginnings.

It was around this time that I saw the story of Bill Gates and how Richard Branson started his empire when he was 16, etc. I was buzzing off these ‘interview’ shows, and there was something about them that really turned me on, I wasn’t sure what it was, but each one had a nugget of genius, and I felt that if I could just keep getting the odd nugget of genius, maybe I could find what I wanted to do with my own life. Continue reading →

“Showing Up for Life: Thoughts on the Gifts of a Lifetime” by Bill Gates Sr.

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“Eighty Percent of Success is Showing up.” Woody Allen, Comedian, Writer, Director, Oscar Winner

This is going to be a quick review, because it really was a quick read, but packed with great insights. I decided to grab this book a while ago after seeing a terrific interview with Bill Gates (Junior) and his dad (Senior) on Charlie Rose last year. Around the time everyone was raving about Outliers (Malcolm Gladwell’s latest in a string of Bestsellers) here was the perfect example to prove Gladwell’s point.

Gladwell told the story of Bill Gates’ life in great detail, outlining just how very impossibly lucky this kid was. But not only did he go to the right schools and live in the right town, he also had the right parents. And I think it’s worth exploring how someone who works incredibly hard, and has made a lots of right moves, got a lot of that from his parents.

“Showing Up for Life” is not a Biography at all. It reads more like a letter from Senior to his family: each of his children, and his two wives (sadly, both were taken by terminal illnesses). Bill’s maternal mother Mary, contributed a great deal to Bill’s incredibly competitive nature. Early on, the Gates family, along with five other families, would head to wilderness for camping trips. Because they pooled their resources together, they were able to secure a cabin on the lake, where everyone could play games, and hold competitions of all sorts. Competition drove almost every aspect of life, whether they were playing capture the flag at Camp Cheerio, or playing a game of cards to see who got to skip out on washing dishes after supper. Mary had a knack for bringing fun to whatever they were doing.

That’s a big deal. We sometimes think of these incredibly successful Entrepreneurs and think only in terms of dollar signs. We forget that this was the funnest thing in the world for them. In the Early Microsoft days, coding MS DOS for 12 hrs straight, then grabbing some pizza with your friends before going right back to the office again was really fun. Hey, they were geeks.

Also, to Gladwell’s point, the charitable work that Bill and Melinda Gates are now doing did not start with Bill Jr. Some people, myself included, assumed he was an egomaniac, or was doing it because he felt guilty about his dominance in the PC market. Some even believe he just wants a Nobel Peace prize. But those people can’t fully understand Bill Gates Jr, unless they first understand the man he strives to be: Senior had been involved with charities long before Bill Gates ever met MS co-Founder Paul Allen. In fact, Mary often asked her young children how much of their allowance they planned to give to charity.

I thought it was amazing that Mary actually knew the CEO of IBM in the mid-80′s, through their joint work with United Way. When he first heard about a little company in Seattle called Microsoft, he remarked, “Oh, that’s Mary Gates’ boy.” And when Bill married Melinda in 1994 (up to that point, she was a product manager at Microsoft) her ‘new job’ became working on the charitable foundation full time.

And the idea of giving everything away goes a lot farther back than Bill Gates Sr. This would not be the first time Bill Gates was compared to John D. Rockefeller. Rockefeller was the greatest Oil tycoon there ever was, getting in at the turn of the 20th century, and ultimately becoming one of the greatest Philanthropists there ever was too. His legacy, passed down from generation to generation, is everywhere, from Malaria research to working on AIDS treatment, and helping famers in third world countries grow more bountiful crops. Everywhere Bill went, he saw the Rockefeller name.

I don’t want this to turn into a story about Bill Gates, because it’s not. All the children are incredibly successful, which is kind of staggering. Bill Senior and Mary, and the way they chose to expose their children to new ideas, and new experiences, are the real story. And though Bill Senior, a lawyer by trade, was always finically well-off, they never seemed to let it go to their heads. In fact, there isn’t a trace of ego anywhere with any of these guys.

I found something striking with Bill Senior: being Christians and very rich, you would think they were fighting new tax bills left and right, as many talking heads on Network TV do. But if anything the Gates family is fighting for more taxes, every chance they get. Bill Senior actually got his start, when he returned from World War 2. The American recovery plan contained something called the GI Bill, which promised to pay for all those who served in WW2 to go to College. It was thought to be costly and extravagant at the time, but it worked: filling the offices and companies with young bright minds which would put America on a path to unprecedented growth. The Marshall plan was also widely criticized; the plan would put money forward to help America’s allies recover from the ravages of War, but contributed to a sense of community and stability around the world.

These are two big pieces of legislation Senior picked out to demonstrate his inspiration for ‘giving back.’ And that’s basically what a tax is: giving back to those who paid for the schools, the roads, the police departments that created the society in which you could, say, start a tech company.

When I said I don’t detect a hint of Ego in these guys, its more like, the Ego has grown. Sometimes we say ‘WE’ to mean our family, or our favorite team, or our city, or even our country (like in the World Cup). But what happens when it grows beyond that to mean the whole world? You feel pain when people on the other side of the world are hurting. Maybe that’s why giving away 20 billion dollars, isn’t just a ‘nice thing to do’ for these guys; but rather, it looks like so much fun.

“Dad, the next time someone asks if you’re the real Bill Gates, I hope you say ‘Yes.’ I hope you tell them you’re all the things the other one strives to be” Bill Gates Jr. Philanthropist, Technokid

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“Lebron James: The Making of an MVP” by Terry Pluto and Brian Windhorst

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“I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. “

Bill Cosby, Comedian

King James. Bron bron. The Decision.

It’s been a pretty wild couple weeks for the King, which makes it a perfect time for this review. Months ago, I was watching Lebron’s terrific documentary “More than a Game (2008)” and was so captivated by the story, and Lebron’s ability to get great guys around him in High School, and to push them to greatness, I ordered the book.

The first thing you have to know about Lebron, and how he compares to guys like Wilt, Larry Bird, and Michael, is that LBJ really wants you to like him.

LeBron didn’t have a relationship with his father. His father left young LeBron and his mother Gloria early on. It’s because of her strength and devotion that LeBron is a Superstar today.

I know, I know. It’s practically a cliché, but I have to ask: Is it an asset or a weakness to want to please other people? Lebron wants his teammates to love him; he wants his city to love him; he wants his country to love him—LBJ’s even taking Mandarin classes so the Chinese will love him too! A lot of kids grow up trying to impress their parents, their teachers, impress the cool kids, impress girls, impress potential bosses. In that regard, Lebron is no different, but his is a story, strangely, of world beating success and (at least, at the time this book was published) international adulation. It doesn’t exactly lend itself to existential reflection, the way Bill Cosby intended (though Dr. Huxtable’s words are undeniably poignant).

At any rate, that’s how it happened. When LeBron was a kid, his mom would move them around all the time, so he’d been in 10 different schools by the time he was 8 years old. Very early on, his classmates described him as this “spongy guy that wanted to be accepted.” He tried to be likable and make friends as best he could, but he never knew when he’d have to pick up his things and say goodbye again.

Instead of keeping up the unsustainable pace, his mother decided he should stay with a close family, the Walkers, while she worked. It turned out to be the best thing for Lebron. This is where he learned his incredible discipline, and finally got some structure in his young life. LeBron, despite being a freakish athlete (his great physique and court vision is partly due to his playing both football and basketball at the same time in high school) he was a great student too. And his teachers, by and large, loved him. So far so good on the LBJ love train.

Fun Tidbit: By the way, it also helps that LeBron was born on December 30th. According to Malcolm Gladwell, when it comes to amateur athletics, size ( more specifically, the timing of your birthday) matters.

The Walkers instilled the discipline and self respect, that this kid would not just be a jock, but an all-around man of principle ( I can hear the Cleveland fans grinding their teeth already). It was critical that LeBron saw people with dignified lives around him, not just a world full of celebrities on TV and dope dealers on the street. Lebron learned that it was a good thing to be a good man, a hard worker and a  contributor to society.

So Lebron and his best friends, ever since the move to the Walkers, started hanging out all the time. No matter what they did, they were together. Lebron was starting to get his roots, and get the family he never had. Basketball was just an excuse to be with them.

As Bron took his blossoming game (and frame) to High School, his friends were right there beside him.

And they quickly became the best team in the country. By grade 11, his coach figured he’s never see the inside of a college gym: this kid… was ready for the NBA.

When he finally suited up for Clevelend in 2003, Lebron took the basketball part in stride. It was everything else that just didn’t sit right. The Cleveland roster was a joke, with league couchsurfers like Darius Miles and Ricky Davis. Then coach Paul Silas made it his number one priority that these bad players did not taint James with their selfish attitudes. Soon, they were gone. Silas was getting great players on the proverbial bus, and kicking bad ones off.

Over and Over, coaches and teammates say Lebron has the right attitude for the game. Win with a pass, win with a shot, win with a steal, whatever it takes, Lebron will do it. Oh yeah, and if he hasn’t got it in his game, he’ll add it in the Summer. Whatever it takes. Even if it means giving up the crown.

The Decision

After all those highlights in the Cleveland uniform, and all the great moments, the King decided to change his address.

Maybe it was the clash, between the joy he felt in High School, and the pressure he felt being the go-to guy on the Cavs, that pushed him to sign with the Miami Heat. He just wanted to be part of a great group of guys again. Lebron, Dwayne Wade, and Chris Bosh, fellow draft classmen, as well as fellow Team USA Gold Medalists, will totally dominate the Eastern Conference starting in November. For a league and a culture that’s constantly being accused of being egotistical and selfish, this is not a one man show. The Miami Heat will… actually…be a great team. Just like Old times in St. Vincent St. Mary High.

Lebron could very well win a Championship (or 8.. ) in Miami, but it’s almost impossible that Bill Cosby’s words will be proven wrong here. As LBJ moves towards the ultimate prize on what will likely become the most despised, feared team in the NBA (remember the Super Villian Alien Team from the movie Space Jam?) , it appears he’ll finally have to deal with his ultimate fear: being hated by millions.

It’s about priorities. Somewhere along the line, LBJ’s combination of incredible physical talent, and selfless team play, Media charisma and sly off-court business moves, turned against him. His two goals are in direct competition now. I really believe he’s made the right choice. Rather be hated by millions of total strangers than have no rings.

Or maybe he’s just sacrificing the 2010 love for the Hall of Fame love.